After waking up on a beautiful Sunday morning, Sheena went to wash her face only to see four huge pimples on her skin! She stared at the mirror filled with disgust. Soon, Sheena found herself poking the blisters on her face and she felt the need to stop only after feeling intense pain. Sheena looked up to see the pimples bleeding. It was at that moment when her inner voice asked- Why are you hurting yourself? This question took her into deep thinking and she remembered how she tried harming herself as a child without any reason- how she was always sacrificing in her relationships even if it meant getting hurt herself due to her self destructive behaviour. Then there was a time when she wanted to end her life when her first relationship didn’t work out.
If you often find yourself in the same place as Sheena, keep on reading-
What is self-destructive behaviour?
When you are self-destructive, you tend to cause severe harm to yourself, either emotionally, physically or mentally.
What is the cause of self-destructive behaviour?
Self-destructive behaviour can be due to a variety of reasons-
- Childhood trauma
- Physical or mental abuse
- Presence of another self-destructive person in the surroundings
- Low self-esteem
- Lack of self-love
- Social isolation
How do you know if you are self-destructive?
You have a self-destructive behaviour if you:
- Have a poor relationship with food
- Have an addiction to anything
- Harm yourself physically (includes suicidal tendencies)
- Have a Self-sabotaging behaviour
- Self-sacrifice in any relationship
- Tolerate toxic and pessimistic people
- Think that it’s your fault in everything
- Perform any habit or behaviour knowing that it will hurt you
- Look down upon yourself
- Are addicted to sadness or any other lower frequency behaviours
- Do not respect your body
- Let people disrespect your boundaries
How do I get rid of self-destructive behaviour?
Physical health:
I believe that we don’t think just with our minds but with our entire body. Really check in and see what you are putting into your own beautiful body and ask these questions to your ownself-
- Am I exercising enough?
- Am I keeping my body hydrated?
- What kind of food am I putting into my body?
- Are the foods I am eating providing me with the love and nourishment I need?
- Am I getting enough sleep?
Notice if you are trying to hurt yourself physically in any way. Ask yourself- WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF?
Also, notice if you are trying to bring unnecessary physical discomfort into your own life.
See what you are missing and what you need to include in your life in order to improve it. Start by making small changes in your daily routine and then take it further.
Free from addiction:
If you are addicted to any substance, you have to get rid of it sooner or later. Otherwise, your desire to live a happy and healthy life will be far from reality. Being dependant on any substance is the worst way to punish yourself. Start becoming aware of how you are destroying your own mental faculties and your body due to addiction and take proper steps. Go to a rehabilitation centre, detoxify your body, seek the help of a counsellor.
Change your environment:
If you see people around you demonstrating the same self-destructive behaviour you are trying to get rid of, it’s time to kiss them GOODBYE. Our surroundings have a lot of influence on us and therefore, negative vibrations around us can hamper our own growth.
Self-sabotaging:
Self-sabotaging is when we ourselves become enemies of our own success. It’s because we don’t want to get out of our comfort zone. Self-sabotaging can come in the form of an emotional roller coaster or procrastination. In order to get rid of it, believe that you deserve your desires, challenge your own fears and have a ‘DO IT ANYWAY’ approach. It often seems better and easy to stay in your comfort zone without making any efforts but, if you want to be different then, you have to do something different. Never give up on your dreams and be limitless.
Happy relationships:
Surround yourself with happy and positive people. We all need love and care in our lives to make us grow into better human beings; notice who you have surrounded yourself with when your behaviour shifts towards self-destruction. When you see self-blaming, self-hatred and self-betrayal creeping in, especially when you are with certain people, it’s a sign to make some changes in your circle.
Love yourself:
I think self-love is the best cure for self-destruction. How do we treat people whom we really love? We want the best for them; we want them to be happy, healthy, prosperous and we would never do anything to hurt them or betray them. Then why can’t we give that love to ourselves? Our self-love is not selfishness-it’s a priority. Be more kind to yourself and try to understand your own self and your own needs.
Getting rid of self-destructive behaviour is not a one-time thing – it’s a complete behaviour change that takes both, time and efforts. But slowly, with time, you will see progress. I wish you all the best in your journey.